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The doctor confirms the presence of paraphilia only when the patient feels internally forced to fulfill his obsessive sexual fantasies and is looking for means or people who will fulfill these fantasies, because without them he will not be able to achieve sexual satisfaction.
In general, sexual behavior is considered normal if:
* relate to a physically and emotionally mature partner, the partner agrees with them (they are not forced),
• do not harm health (physical / mental),
* do not violate generally accepted social norms (for example, the principle of intimacy).
If any of these criteria is violated, it may be a case of paraphilia. This happens when sexual needs are associated with an immature person, when they do not take into account the consent of the partner, lead to pain, humiliation, trouble, harm health, violate generally accepted social norms.
There are many approaches that can be considered relatively harmless.
In acustophilia, the source of arousal is sounds, such as thunderstorms or heavy rain.
In siderodromophilia, sexual sensations are associated with a train ride.
Most people have all kinds of sexual fantasies, and as long as they do not become a perverted and necessary element of intimate life, and do not harm anyone, they remain in the realm of normality.
The problem becomes serious if paraphilia leads to a crime, such as in the case of pedophilia or asphyxophilia, in which the supply of oxygen to the brain to achieve orgasm is stopped, which often leads to a fatal outcome.
Acrotomophilia, that is, sexual attraction to the victim or after the amputation of a limb, is controversial. This infatuation arises as a result of the suppression of sexuality in early childhood , accompanied by a manifestation of compassion for the disfigured person living in the immediate vicinity. For unknown reasons, the fear of being left alone in such a difficult situation can be combined with erotic sensations.
Much more common is paraphilia, associated with a large difference in the weight of partners. Most often, this is a couple, where a thin man and a woman who is obese. This indicates a pathological desire to dominate a person with morbid obesity, who is easily manipulated due to the fact that he does not participate in public life, is isolated and usually has low self-esteem. And, for example, ophidiphilia can be defined as sexual arousal caused by the crawling of a snake on the body. In polyterophilia, arousal occurs as a result of sexual contact with a large number of partners, for example, after group sex, but it can also be associated with exhibitionism.
In the case of pekkatophilia, the stimulating factor is thoughts of sin. It develops after punishments in childhood and is associated with feelings of guilt
2.Sex for people with disabilities
Both obese and disabled people have a successful sexual life.
But at the same time, people with disabilities usually require constant care, so they easily become dependent on the presence of another person, who eventually becomes their sole guardian. The same is true for people who are bedridden and morbidly obese.
A physically healthy partner may want to enter into such a relationship precisely because it is easy to dominate a weaker person. If he is a bad lover, then the belief that the patient will not want to break up is an additional motivation.
3. Too much sex destroys vital energy
According to traditional Chinese medicine, each person has a reserve of vital energy, which, with proper care, will last him much longer.
This means following a proper diet, spending enough time relaxing and exercising, and avoiding frustrations and stressful lifestyles.
It has long been known that giving pleasure promotes mental renewal and reduces stress levels.
A study conducted at the University of Bristol in England shows that men who experience three or more orgasms a week are 50% less likely to suffer from cardiovascular disease.
In addition to cardiologists, the beneficial effect of sex on the body is also confirmed by endocrinologists, neurologists and dermatologists.
It turns out that sex slows down cell division, reduces the risk of stroke and heart attack, regulates blood pressure, makes the skin more elastic, increases the body's immunity, reduces stress levels, overcomes insomnia and anxiety before bed, relieves pain, reduces the risk of prostate cancer and improves the condition of the hair.
And in women, it also strengthens the pelvic muscles, relieves symptoms of premenstrual tension, increases body oxygenation, and accelerates fat burning.
This does not change the fact that sexholism can be destructive to a person. The sex addict is unable to resist his needs, even though he knows that satisfying them causes both physical and emotional harm.
About a dozen years ago, science rejected the theory of the existence of aphrodisiacs.
But thanks to recent discoveries, it can also be concluded that some substances do help in achieving a satisfactory sexual life.
Sexologists agree that the problems with libido that are now observed in representatives of modern societies are the result of a lack of dopamine in the body, which simultaneously means the occurrence of anxiety, depression, melancholy and lethargy, as well as a sense of meaninglessness of life. The level of dopamine is increased by berries and regular exercise.
Natural aphrodisiacs include a variety of foods. For example, artichoke leaves cooked until soft in goat's milk with the addition of nutmeg and honey. For sexual activity, it is also advisable to regularly drink at least a few cups of coffee a day.
Chocolate is an aphrodisiac not only because of its caffeine content, but also because of its phenylethylamine (PEA).
Ginseng has unique properties - it not only strengthens vital energy, but also helps to cure impotence.
L-arginine, an amino acid that helps increase sperm count, also increases libido in men and helps in achieving an erection, as it is involved in the production of nitric oxide, which dilates blood vessels.
The erection is also stimulated by nitroglycerin, applied topically in the form of an ointment - it also dilates the blood vessels.
Oysters are a rich source of zinc, which is necessary for the production of testosterone in the body and determines the proper level of libido and the functioning of the prostate gland, that is, the prostate.
In the case of men, testosterone has a great influence on libido.
Taking testosterone in the doses agreed with the doctor quite quickly gives positive results. In this case, the corresponding herbal mixtures in tablets (available in sports stores) are also effective.
Protein intake should not be overestimated, as the amount of protein in the daily diet of more than 2 g per kilogram of body weight stimulates the activity of IGF (insulin-like growth factor), which is a testosterone antagonist.
You should also limit your intake of fats and carbohydrates, which, among other things, should come from vegetables and fruits..
5. Sex for people over 50
Regular partners often lose interest in sex as well as in each other. 60% of men over 50 complain of partial impotence, which dramatically reduces their desire to have sex.
Another reason for the problems of fifty-year-old couples may be the SDD syndrome (Sexual Desire Discrepancy-divergence of sexual needs). It is estimated that this disorder affects up to 30% of married men.
In SDD, the problem for couples is that they don't communicate their needs or talk about sex openly, which ultimately leads to separation. This approach is a fundamental mistake, because good sex leads to better relationship management on many levels.
Sex can be a force against crises and divorce, protecting the family from traumatic experiences.
It turns out that sex is directly related to sports - it is muscle tension, concentration, breath control, synchronization of movements. Both in sex and in sports, there is a quickening of the pulse and a blush on the face, dopamine is released. Exercise also increases testosterone levels and makes us feel that our physical and intellectual abilities are growing.
The spread of the view that homosexuality is a disease has caused unimaginable damage.
This has forced LGBT groups to fight for their rights and respect. In 1973, homosexuality was excluded from the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), and in 1991 from the ICD6 (International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Health Problems).
Some patients have attempted suicide as a result of deep interference with their mental structure.
Before taking a PS class, you need to pay attention to a number of factors and discuss them with the participants (but first of all with your direct partner). You need to ask yourself questions:
1. How ready are you to show your imagination when engaging in polygamous sex?
2. Who do you want to do this with?
3. What will be the duration of the act?
4. Will you continue the entertainment if one of the participants does not comply with the previously agreed rules or finishes faster?
First, be sure to agree on what will be acceptable for you in bed, and immediately decide on the boundaries of what is allowed, as well as what will be completely unacceptable for you. It is also recommended that you come up with a code word that will signal the end of unpleasant actions. And if you have no experience in sexual relations with other participants, then first set a narrower limit of what is allowed, which will give you the opportunity to explore your own needs.
It will be very good if you discuss all the issues with the participants of sexual pleasures. But you need to do this only on a sober head and before starting PS classes, since during sex it is unlikely that you will be able to achieve the desired effect.
After group intimate pleasures, its participants may feel shame, and this is quite normal. The most important thing is to discuss all the nuances before taking mind-numbing substances. After all, it will be much more difficult to talk later.
How to engage in PS and not harm the relationship?
It is recommended that you always imagine a picture when your partner is having sex with another person. Will you be able to calmly contemplate such a picture? Are you ready to adequately perceive a change in the relationship after having sex with other entertainment participants? Will the PS affect your relationship with your partner? Thus, PS can both destroy and strengthen your relationship, make it more interesting and vivid.
In order for your first experience in the PS to bring as much pleasure as possible, its participants should not criticize each other. Accept with respect the refusal of one of the participants, and without fail involve fans of active actions to participate in the process.
Try also to consider the correct ratio of participants in the group. For example, if only one woman and three men take part in this process, this can lead to pressure on her and to an unwillingness to perform any actions. Evaluate each participant's comfort level sensibly, as drugs and alcohol do not contribute to correct judgment. Also, determine your level of trust in the participants, so that they follow the previously agreed rules and do not go beyond what is allowed.
Do you fully trust them and believe that they will not tell outsiders about your entertainment? Will you be able to feel comfortable making this or that decision? After all, some people may forget about entertainment the next day and never do it again, and others will find it very difficult to get PS out of their heads. Will you accept that your partner or partner will already behave differently, and your relationship will not be in danger?Women who do not have sex often explain this by saying that they do not want to sleep without love. Usually, when talking to a young woman about self-esteem, she associates it only with not sleeping with anyone. Women, especially young women, think they respect themselves when they are good girls. They know what's right and what's wrong. And the fact that they are dissatisfied is quite another matter. For some reason, they do not see the connection between unhappiness and the inability to "let go". It is worth letting go of everything that restricts, that prevents you from living in harmony, stop being afraid, stop restraining yourself, and also experiencing joy and freedom. To let go is to be yourself.
1. True self-respect.
If we consider that a respected woman is something more than sexuality, then it is often difficult to understand that self-respect is respect for a person, for his being, for his value, for him as a whole. Self-esteem is an extremely important attitude to yourself. A skill that many women acquire only by consciously working on themselves. No one teaches girls that sex and love are different things. A girl who develops and begins to experience needs, but does not call them sexual, even if she feels them. She will confuse physical attraction with love. Because if she thinks about someone, she wants to feel them close to her, she wants them to touch her. And she doesn't even know what it means to love yet. Love is chemistry, pheromones. First, a person learns their physical needs, which are also important and spiritual, only they live and function at the level of the body. The body level is extremely important. It is just as important as the mental and social. It is important that you need to take care of your body, but many still do not know that you need to take care of it also in sexual terms.
It all starts with a desire. If a girl is interested in a boy because he is smarter than others, he knows how to do something different from others. She treats someone as a person. She likes him, makes her hormones run high. A wise mother should tell her daughter that many men can please, they can cause passion, awe, and not always love. But the mother does not say this, and the girl thinks that she loves the boy. Therefore, as a proof of her love, the girl offers her body. She wants to prove that she has entered adulthood, that something new and exciting is happening. She needs to prove her love, otherwise he will leave her or go to another woman, and she will feel unsexy. This is one of the reasons why girls start sex life early. The second reason is that it is the boy who chooses the girl. At first, the girl likes everything: hugs, caresses, kisses, she is delighted, excited. But then she wants to say, " Don't touch me down there," "I'm afraid," "let's stop." But she does not say this, because she is afraid that the guy will be offended and leave. So she thinks that if this is how it should be, she will close her eyes and somehow survive. Something happens that she does not want to do, and that does not satisfy her at all. And then she feels ashamed. After all, Catholic education pushes prohibitions. People break them, but this only makes them feel more ashamed.
3. Loss of desire.
After such a "dedication" , you can stop respecting sex, but at the same time you do not know what "love"is. Because you can only know love when you have both. All people are endowed with libido, and many can be desired, while only some people can love.
4. Sex inside the body.
When you want to explore artistic and spiritual spaces, it means that you also need to go "lower". And the word "lower" is not a depreciation at all. Sex is inside the body. The emotional brain is also located in the abdomen. You need to be able to hear what part of the body is talking about a man. Women can easily learn this. It's never too late to start.
Some people need to fall in love, otherwise they will not allow themselves to have sex. Many people live in constant lies. Many women and some men constantly manipulate their feelings. Unconsciously, of course. They demand from themselves and from others: more, higher, more ambitious. And this is usually impossible, and thus they greatly spoil their lives. Because if they weren't obsessed with pseudo-love, they would just meet each other and then see if they like each other or if they love each other. Slowly, but not too slowly, so that something pleasant accumulates, so as not to pick a green apple and eat something unsweetened. When people force themselves to love, they really lose the opportunity to love someone in return. Also, the manipulation of emotions causes addiction. It seems that if you need to love, then you really need to have sex. People can become addicted to such fictional love and sex. In such a situation, to experience true love, you will have to refrain for a long time to return to yourself, to your true feelings.
Good sex is great. But based on this alone, many people begin to think that they are made for each other. Maybe, but not necessarily. You can love a person for having great sex, but that doesn't mean it's true love. Thanks to a person, you can learn that the body has so many beautiful possibilities that it develops erotically. In the heart there is gratitude to this person. But that doesn't mean it's true love. Maybe everything will work out and it will turn out that people are suitable for each other in everything else. But it takes time to understand whether the partners are made for each other.
6. The development of sexuality.
Perhaps the people met just to experience super-sex. This is a really good reason: to improve sexuality, to develop it, to raise its level. Of course, after such an experience, expectations increase. Everyone wants everything to be just as great next time, or even better. But the lower the expectations, the more successful the relationship. Not everything always works out. There are relationships that last for a while and then end. Most things in life come to an end. The power disappears, and sensitivity arises. The search for novelty ends, and there is a respect for sustainability. Previously, fun was appreciated, but today it is warm in the sun. After all, it is as valuable for the elderly as it is for the young.
For millions of years, women have been taught to always want a man, otherwise they will not have enough public respect, security, and their children will be worse than the children of those women who have permanent partners. It affected the mentality. Women have more sexual needs, they are better erogenically equipped, that they experience deeper orgasms than men.
8. Sex at once.
It is also the manipulation of passions. People do this because no one advises them from the outside and does not support them. Everyone learns by trial and error. On the other hand, the curse is that there is a romantic vision in which love is a sweet joke that should last forever. At first, everyone has a desire to fall in love, and only then get down to business and build relationships. But desire alone is not enough. A woman needs to be curious, to observe what is going on between her and her partner. You can argue, you can get sympathy, you can deceive yourself, you can do thousands of extremely interesting things.
9. A declaration of love.
"You must respect yourself, you must not tell a man that you care about him" - this is the wisdom passed down from mothers to daughters. On the one hand, people are socially liberated, but on the other hand, they are not. And that's not right. The fact that a woman can sign contracts worth millions does not always mean that she can negotiate with her man about what she wants and what she does not want. Therefore, she often prefers to be alone. There are surprisingly many beautiful women who, for some reason, are still alone and do not have sex. They just need to understand that sex is everywhere. It's in the air, in the grass, in the apple they eat. You need to start with a sensual attitude to the world. And then you can find love, and sex, and the joy of a full life.
1. Return to sex.
There are men who don't like to try. They like to get what they want and then feel like super-males. But those who are cool, usually quite emotional, can be fascinated by a woman who needs to be tamed, warmed up, caressed, they need to get her. Of course, an experienced friend or mom would be helpful to explain how and what to do to achieve what you want and increase your self-esteem .
It is the recently separated people who shout about their freedom at parties and in pubs. Men react badly to this. For example, there is a man who is incredibly rich and sexy. And the girl who is trying to impress him as much as possible fell in front of him like a plum in compote. It didn't work out, because the guy was afraid that it was already like this compote - digested and ready to eat, and he still doesn't know what he wants to do with it. The more a woman signals that she is hungry, the less a man will run after her. But if she could look at him with curiosity and not push him, then her vibes would be like an aphrodisiac.
A break can be helpful. Sex is called detox and recommends that it last 30 days. At this time, a person flows inside himself, into the family and into his first experiences, and only then learns sexual techniques. This method is suitable for couples who have not loved each other for a long time. They hear from a specialist that they are not allowed to do this now, and this helps. Because when people are told they can't, they want even more. For starters, the couple can have dinner together and hold hands. Then a kiss, then go to bed together and caress. And when people start to warm up in this embrace, they are happy, but they do not like it. They're going to bed. And they just remember how much fun it used to be. Only when the whole body wants, when it is overcome by desire, then slowly you need to return to sex. The body should demand sex. This is not, but the incitement of lust.
3. Petting and sleeping naked.
This will make the desire grow. Because a person begins to feel something, but he does not need to do anything about it. This is important for a frightened woman or man. Men are also afraid, they always think how a girl will appreciate them. These thoughts will be drowned out by the instinct of love, if people allow nature and feelings to speak. A break is a detox, if you work hard on it, you can answer specific questions, such as how they used to treat sex.
4. Evaluation of the entire sexual experience.
It is necessary to tell about injuries, to explain how they affected, so that the partner knows all the reasons for the behavior. Thanks to this, the person has gained experience. It is important to look not for what you want in terms of sex, but for what makes you react with positive emotions and feelings.
Do not wait for a meeting with a tall, dark-haired man with blue eyes, because this is the only thing that attracts. You will have to meet different people, there are a lot of them. You need to meet, watch. You need to look at what's inside someone. It is important to know your feelings. You can feel like a little girl. If so, then the girl should tell the man that she wants to get care from him. If he likes it, that's good. And if not, it's difficult. It is worth looking for someone who is mutually attuned.
6. Sex without interruptions.
You can not demand, you need to understand what you want. You need to be honest with your body and feelings. Look at the person next to you and think. It is necessary that the partner enriches, and not just be for show.
7. Following the body.
Keep track of everything that feels like it. Whether you feel joy, craving for a partner, whether you like his touch, smell, taste, voice. Do not ignore the body and pleasure, because it is all real. If a person feels hot, passionate, relaxed, happy, then there are no obstacles from the mind or beliefs. This is the best state to survive in, and it is only worth following.
8. The eternal gap.
Everything should be as you want. If a woman says, " I've already had sex, now I'm going to raise children," you can't say that such a life is unimportant. She lives as best she can, in accordance with her self-esteem and ideas. It is not necessary to compare someone who does not have a sexual life at a certain period, and someone who does not have it at all. After all, if the reasons for refusing to have sex are important, it is better not to have it than to go against yourself.